Week Fifteen - A Day in The Life -  High Winds Watch

Paul was very nice to me this week. He told me he wants us to go camping for my birthday, which is coming up next week. I am glad he thought of it, my birthday, that is, but I am still struggling with the two of us not being on the same wavelength and cannot understand how he does not notice the disconnection between us.

I spent the afternoon with my mom yesterday. I had taken half a day off because we were not very busy at the office and I wanted to do some work around the house. So I decided to call her up and ask her what she was doing. As expected, she was very willing to cancel all her previous plans to spend some time with me. DEAR MOM! She has been making comments here and there about us not seeing each other much these days. Not that we were seeing each other a lot before I got married, but I guess she feels now I have my life and she is not as much part of it as she used to.

She is right. I used to talk to her a lot about what was going on in my life, but not any more. She has no idea about how I feel about Paul. She doesn’t even know Paul lost his job and now he has a new one. Should I tell her? Paul does not want me to talk to anybody about him. I respect his need for privacy, but this prevents me from talking about myself too. I had no plan about what to say or not to say to her when we met, but things started to pour out of me over lunch, as soon as she asked me how things were with Paul and me.

My reaction to her question was totally unexpected, and it even surprised me. Before lunch was over, I told her about Paul’s job, him staying home for those few weeks, about his new job and his lack of communication with me.

I don’t know what I was expecting from mom. Possibly nothing. I just wanted to vent I guess, as I had not had a chance to do so. I needed somebody to hear me out.

Mom listened without interrupting. She did not make any comment about Paul, for which I am very grateful and then said: “I know how you feel. It is difficult to worry and not being able to share that with anyone.” That was it! Can you believe it? I immediately got the impression she had been in my place before, maybe more than once… maybe she was in the same place now?  It made me wonder about the kind of relationship she and dad have. As a child I did not notice much, but as an adult I am beginning to see things I didn’t even know existed. Maybe mom and I can relate to one another in a different way now that I am a married woman.

I was so grateful to her for not lecturing me, for not telling me “I told you so,” and for not treating me like a child. This is actually all I would like to hear from Paul…