Week Ten - A Day in The Life - Warm Front

What a good week this was. Paul did get the job, it’s official now. He signed his contract two days ago and he is elated. He will actually make more money than in his previous job, with more possibilities of growing with the company! It will require some travelling though. We had got used to being together all the time. Now Paul will have to travel one week out of each month. We have never been apart since we moved in together, so this will be a change. Not that I like it, but I understand we are adults, and this is the price we have to pay to get what we want. Maybe being apart will be good for us? It may make us realize how much we mean to one another. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?

I never talked to Melissa about what happened with Paul’s job and how we handled it. I was going to… but I hesitated too long. And there is no point in doing it now. Everything seems to be back on track. What can we gain from revisiting the past? Wow, it sounds like I am becoming like Paul, with his view of letting go of the past and staying in the present. But today I feel good. Life is smiling at us again. The storm is over, so I don’t have to dwell on it any longer.

Mom invited us to dinner the other day. These invitations are usually a mixed bag. I mean, I like to see my folks, but I am always on pins and needles around them, particularly around my father. I want him to like Paul. I want him to think my decision to marry him was a good one. I want him to treat me more like an adult who knows what she is doing, rather than a little girl whose decisions need to be questioned and challenged. I also would like Paul to act nicely, so my father will like him more . But Paul is not putting any extra effort in being liked by my folks. He says what he wants to say, acts as he wants to act, take it or leave it. I sit there and cringe. I want to say to him: “Please be polite with my father. You don’t have to use profanities at the table, since I told him how he feels about it.” But he does not care. I have told him million of times how my father feels about the f… word. Paul seems to use in every other sentence and I know what my father is thinking. Another area I warned Paul to steer clear of is politics. He and my father are at the two opposite poles of the political spectrum: they will never agree on anything, so why even try? They argue and argue and argue, while my mother and I look at each other and from time to time try to change the subject, but to no avail.

Why isn’t Paul making an effort for me? Why does it seem to be so difficult  for him to please me? He does not seem to care what other people think of him, but I do. And because of that, I often feel I am in the middle, trying to please everybody.